One Redditor has discovered her “dream house,” and she plans to utilize her savings to buy it. She wants her partner to live with her even though they are not married and do not have any immediate plans to get married. They are now disputing whose name will appear on the documents.
Together for 4 Years
“My boyfriend and I (22 F and 25 M) have been together for nearly 4 years. It’s been wonderful living together for the past two years in a flat. I recently started a new job, earn about $80,000 annually, and had been wishing to move our family out of our flat and into a house. In contrast, my boyfriend has a poor work ethic and has held eight different minimum-pay jobs during our four years of dating. We began looking at houses when I mentioned buying one, and he was completely supportive, the OP says.
Division of Bills and Costs
My boyfriend doesn’t have any money and lives paycheck to paycheck, but I have enough in my savings to make the down payment and all closing costs. He currently covers his costs (vehicle payment, insurance, etc.), while I pick up all the food, wifi, and dog supplies. We currently share our rent 50/50. Since I make more money than him and he’s never complained, I’m entirely cool with the fact that I shoulder more expenses. We kept the price range in mind when shopping for a home so that I could buy it on my own and we could use the extra money from his earrings. I would pay the water, energy, home insurance, etc., and we decided to divide the mortgage 50/50 (which would be less expensive than our present rent).
Reason for Getting Mad
We’ve finally located our dream house, and we’re about to finalize the deal. We are buying the house with my savings, and because we aren’t married and don’t have any immediate plans to get married, I told him that I would prefer to be the only name on it. Because it is meant to be “our house,” he is now angry with me over it. Although I have told him that it is OUR house, legally it will only be MINE since I don’t want to risk $400,000. He claimed that he shouldn’t have to pay rent if all he will be living in is my house. I disagree; once we get married, the arrangement will be changed, just like if we were paying rent somewhere else. He hasn’t spoken to me in three days, and I genuinely don’t believe I’ve done anything wrong. Such AITA?
Suggestions of Different people
“NTA. Any lawyer or fiduciary would tell you that taking this action would be extremely risky for you. OP, if/when you get married, you can consult with lawyers to see how he can purchase the home while accounting for his prior rent payments. I understand why he’s furious about not getting any equity, but it can wait, said Shaking-Cliches.
Likeahike and Chitter-Pop’s Comments
“NTA, your cash, your residence. Imagine if you split up. I believe he could make you sell and offer you a portion. He is not given ownership because he did not invest. Protect yourself and hold your stance on this, said Likeahike.
“NTA Put on your big girl trousers and tell your boo that fine; if you want to live at my house, I’ll become your landlord, and you pay me to rent at the martlet rate. This will stop him from punishing you by giving you the silent treatment because you won’t let him own half of something he isn’t paying for. Don’t stay with somebody who is attempting to exploit you financially, chitter-pop said.
Written Agreement
Please have a local real estate lawyer draught an agreement. In some places, if you split up, he could be regarded as an owner of the house if he contributes to the mortgage. Please research the laws in your area and come to a written agreement. I’ve seen friends do this, and it’s a lot simpler if they split up. Zimthedragonqueen said, “If you don’t split up and get married, you can put his name on the house.
Wrapping Up
“Girl, don’t name the house with his name. You’re not his mother, and he doesn’t think he won’t have to pay rent, so what is he thinking? He is not required to pay rent, therefore he may reside elsewhere. That is absurd beyond belief. You already pay for his lifestyle, you’re not married, and if his name is on the deed, he (I’m guessing) has some form of equity rights. Congratulations on buying your first home, most significantly! Appreciate it and keep in mind how much effort it took to get you where you are. Keep your head up and don’t listen to his whining,” said Jccacca.
