They say girls mature faster than boys. They also say marrying an older guy is the right thing to do. But apparently, there’s a certain number of years till which you can do that. Suddenly when the age gap becomes a little more than socially acceptable, it becomes morally wrong.
Love has no age as it is always renewing itself.
This is the story of Jeffrey Oberman. A 77-year-old man who retired from the real estate business. He divorced his ex-wife and had passed on his responsibilities to his adult kids. He lived in Canada and moved to the Dominican Republic after retirement.
His love for animals made him adopt 8 stray dogs. His life in the Caribbean felt peaceful and simple. Until he met a woman who made his heart flutter. This is not your usual saw an oldie cutie at the cafe reading an 1800s book.
This is your met at a rally and fell in love with a deeper cause. Jeffrey found an animal rescue post from Alex and messaged her. She was 20 and lived in the US.
They instantly connected and the texts quickly turned into an all-night-long call. This led Jeffrey to ask Alex to come to meet him. Alex’s mother agreed to let her go with a safe word (pumpernickel) just in case Jeffrey turned out to be a psychopath.
Alex ended up staying in the Dominican Republic for over a year and marrying Jeffrey. Unfortunately, the union of a 63-year-old man and a 22-year-old woman raised quite a few eyebrows. Jeffrey recalls it is easy to deal with strangers questioning your decision. What is difficult is close friends and family.
Jeffrey’s kids of liberal minds were shocked to see him marrying a woman who’s 6 years younger than themselves. Alex’s mom who was genuinely fond of Jeffrey had her doubts as well. Close friends and families asked for the “real” reason for marriage.
Jeffrey recalls how he felt everyone assume this marriage to be transactional. He describes transactional relations as something where each partner is selfishly looking for something for themselves.
He says society assumes that the older person/ the man is financially providing the woman. While the younger person/ the woman is sultry and provides physical satisfaction to the man. The man is considered to have ulterior motives to exploit an innocent and dumb-wit woman.
This is particularly funny in Jeffrey and Alex’s case. Alex is a talented artist who attended the elite ‘Savannah College of Art and Design,’ where she completed the first two years of the university while still in high school and received full scholarships to study both organic chemistry and fine arts. If she is dumb-wit, I don’t know what smart is anymore. Jeffrey had just come out from a bad marriage and intercourse with the hot chick was the last thing he was looking for.
Even today they get so many questions and assumptions that she is his daughter that it’s bewildering. Nonetheless, they focused on being “successful” as a couple. And I guess being married for over 20 years is proof of it.
Jeffrey shared his story on HuffPost about 3 years ago. And even today people are posting negative comments on Facebook post.
What are your thoughts about this sensitive subject?
