Hi! I am David, a 26-year-old property estate agent. Tall, dark, and handsome? You wish! I am your average white man with exactly the amount of talents found in Chihuahua dogs. I am cute and loyal and will not bite if fed well.
And I am in love.
Susan is like a little white dumpling filled with a cinnamon sugar crumble filling. Wait! Does that make her cinnamon roll or sweet dumpling? Anyways you get the point, right?
Anyways, good news! She seems to like me too. If you want one-sided love stories, look at your own dating history. I am good here.
Things have been great and I proposed to her a month ago. And she said yes! Honestly, most people propose when they know the answer will be yes. That’s why all my efforts (and money) went into hiring a location and photographers.
I hoped our photos would be dreamy and that’s what they were. A dream! The photographer never showed up. There should have been a cancelation refund but apparently, they don’t refund money if I don’t pay anything in the first place. Yes! Unfair. I know.
Now I don’t have photos to show off on my social media. Or to my mom. Here is the deal. My girl is camera shy. Also, I swear she looks better in real life. But I have to introduce her to my mom soon. At least before the marriage.
Now let me tell you something about my mother, Karen. Don’t go on her name, she is judgmental even if her name was Helen. Your mom might look at a newborn and say how pretty the baby is. My mom suggests botox centers for kids to fix the baby’s “droopy” eyebrows.
She has never met Susan and I am not sure how to introduce them. I have come up with a plan. I don’t have enough gal friends so I am going to need Susan’s help.
I have decided to meet my mom with Susan and 3 of her other girl friends. Susan is dressed the best and we tried to make her friends look unkempt. Which was difficult because her friends are hot. No! That doesn’t affect me. My girl is good at heart or so she has warned me to say in public.
My mom comes wearing her highly critical glasses. Yes, it’s a thing and she has six of them. She enters the restaurant gawping in my direction. She sits next to Susan (yes! That’s the first win). They both chit-chat and I think it is going pretty well. Eventually, they leave and I get the alone time with my mom.
Hey mom, which one do you think is my fiancé?”, I ask.
She replies without a doubt, “It is that curly hair one
Damn! She knows. She loves Susan. She approves of my choice. This is the best day of my life!
I ask in disbelief, “How do you know mom?”
She replies, “That’s the one I didn’t like.”
